How To Get Rid Of "Fear Of Rejection" From A Girl

How To Get Rid Of "Fear Of Rejection" From A Girl

“Have you ever been waiting in line at the post office or in a café and suddenly a stunning hot girl comes and sits next to you? You think about talking to her, but you’re too afraid she will reject you and end up looking like a loser in front of everybody, and you end up not saying anything at all.

Are you familiar with that scenario?”

I got that quote out of David DeAngelo’s mail bag (well, kind of). If anyone knows anything about girls and attraction, that’s him. After reading his work, I realized my attitude was the only reason why I could never approach really hot girls.

I decided to write about this because someone, probably Chivas or some other loser, pm me about how I handled fear of rejection. I don’t know if it was legitimate question, however, I think it is a good topic to write something about. (but if you’re a real member, forget the “loser” comment I made)

Fear of rejection made me miss precious opportunities. Like 99% of the guys out there, every time I got an opportunity of talking to a good looking girl, things with me would change. My voice tone would change, my body language would change, and attitude would change. And the worst part was I didn’t even notice this.

I guess I was afraid of she being rude. One night after reading David D’s work, I started to wonder why I was afraid of rejection from a girl. After thinking for hours, I came to the conclusion there’s no reason to be afraid of rejection. If anything, I should be thankful a girl rejected me rudely.

Why am I talking non-sense? Well, just think about it. If you approach a girl and she is mean to you, that’s says more about her, than she wants the world to know.

Lets picture this:

You’re at the gym. You’re in the stretching area minding your business, and by chance this really hot girl in really short shorts starts doing her Yoga routine next to you.

You think she is cute, and her hot body is a bonus. Somehow you gather the nerve to talk to her even when you have never seen her before. You wait until she is in between exercises, you tap her shoulder and say (like I have done in so many times):

“------insert A-material line here-----” Looking into her eyes (that’s very important, girls like guys who can look into their eyes and not look away before she does)

She looks at you and has a blank expression on her face, as if you were crazy or some shit like that. After 2 or 3 seconds of awkward silence, she resumes her exercises without saying anything and you’re left there all by yourself.

In plain English, this is the worse way a girl could reject you, however, from then on, it is up to you to take the next step.

You could either say something like “I was just kidding” or “Don’t take it so seriously, don’t you have a sense of humor?” and maybe (and just maybe) she may smile at you. Chances are she is not going to say anything, and instead give you the “little princess” attitude. Another big chance in this situation is this girl has no sense of humor either.

Or you could forget about her and keep on doing what you were doing in the first place and thank God this “witch” rejected you the way she did.

Lets face it, there are some really pretty girls with a pretty fucked up attitude. I honestly doubt there’s a guy on earth who would want to be with a girl who has an attitude like that. At least I would not be near a girl who has a “little princess” attitude.

I have to admit there are guys who will stand a “witch” and her attitude as long as she is hot, however, in the long run, they will end up being miserable.

But where am I going with all this? I started talking about fear of rejection and now I’m talking about being miserable next to “witch”. Ay, ay ay!

The point here is:

If you get rejected meanly, you should be thankful. Chances are that girl, no matter how hot or how innocent she may look, is a little “witch”. And I don’t think you want to be next to that, or do you?

I think I covered the “being rejected meanly section”. And now I have to cover the “being rejected nicely” one.

When a girl is mean rejecting you, you can bet your balls she is a “witch”, but what do you when the girl rejects you nicely?

In this case, you’re dealing with a girl who has a good heart but for one reason or another is not attracted to you. This kind of girl is the one who gets wussy guys to stalk her because she is just too “nice” and can’t treat people like that.

In this case, you can do one out of two things:

1. Become her friend.

2. Keep on doing what you were doing

I say become her friend because, if she is hot, every time you talk to her, and manage to make her laugh, other girls around will look at what’s going on and think: “Mmmm. That girl is cute, and he is just an average guy. But she looks like she is having a good time. I wonder what’s with this guy, he seems interesting”

Or you can keep doing what you were doing. You don’t have to be friends with anyone you don’t want to be friends with. It is up to you, but you sure have to take advantage of everything you can; specially if after dropping your “A-material” line you get a giggle and after asking if she is single you get a big smile and an “Oh, I’m sorry, but I’m taken”.

But back to our main topic “fear of rejection”.

If you really want to get rid of “fear of rejection” then you will have to change the way you look at things.

Let’s break things down psychologically(ha ha, and you though I couldn’t spell big ass words) a little. You can only get “rejected”, when you “apply” for something you want, and it is someone else’s decision if you get it or not. Like when you “apply” for a job and it is the manager’s decision if you get the job or if you get “rejected”.

The same goes to this whole “talking to girls you don’t know” situations. Most guys approach a girl with a metal image similar to this:

“I’m going to talk to her, and maybe if she likes me, I could take her to the movies and start a healthy relationship”

See? It is like you’re applying for a boyfriend position or something. You are giving her the power to “reject” or “take” you.

In other words, you start to “build things up” ahead of time. That’s when you start to get sweaty palms, and little by little you become more nervous. Why? Because unconsciously you start to worry about her not liking you, and this “little image” in your head breaks down.

But if you manage to change that metal image to something like:

“She looks cute. I’m going to talk to her and find out if she is a witch or not”

Or

“I like that girl. I wonder if she is the kind of girl I would like to be with. Lets give her a chance to show me what type of girl she is in the inside”

Things with you will change significantly. You’ll find out your confidence level will sky rocket. And girls LOVE a guy who has lots of confidence.

In conclusion, the best way to get rid of “fear of rejection” is to get rid of the whole “I’m applying for something I want to have” concept. Don’t assume a girl is the love of your life because she is “super hot” or “super cute and innocent”. Bewared, there are some pretty fucked up girls out there.

Excuse me if I sound like David DeAngelo, but the truth is that I’m one of his adepts, so I’m pretty much just repeating what I was taught.